Dr. Onyeani's Postulation: A Logical Application
By Kwabena Gyasi, Global Systems, Orlando, Florida

I have followed with interest the indignation that usually greets Dr. Onyeani's contributions here in this forum whenever he dwells on his pet peeves about the Black race. He views his contributions on the subject as thought-provoking and, naturally, he has provoked a thought or two every now and then. Yet, the good man complains when he gets a Molotov cocktail lobbed at every appearance of his contributions in this forum.

His own admission that he has been in America for well over three decades eminently qualifies him as an elder to be accorded with utmost respect here in our African forum. Dr. Onyeani, considering that he has a Phd, serves as a Fellow of an important newspaper here in America, authored a self-styled critically acclaimed book, owns a newspaper and doubles as a talk-show host, indisputably is not just our elder but a distinguished man of impressive accomplishments. In short, he is our Chief.

By custom and social etiquette, as you all well know, public disagreement with an African Chief is almost taboo. It is for this reason that public disagreement with the Chief of our beloved forum may be considered ill-advised. Therefore, if the Chief says black people are "non-productive, lazy, unintelligent, slaves, Neanderthals, zombies, intellectually dishonest, beggars, undisciplined, dumb-(bleeped) idiots, genetically unable to take care of themselves", we ought to accept it without question. After all, he must know a thing or two more than most of us, considering the number of years he has been on this earth and the fact that he is a black man of unassailable accomplishments.

What is ominous, however, is that Dr. Onyeani's postulation on the black race means our own venerable Chief, as difficult as it may be for us to swallow, is, taflatse, lazy, unproductive, unintelligent, undisciplined and genetically incapable of taking care of himself. Why? Because the Chief is black! This is the logical conclusion one must draw from Dr. Onyeani's assertions. However, the good doctor may come back and tell us the Chief is the exception to the rule. To which anticipated rebuttal I ask the good doctor, how different is the Chief from the rest of the black race? Is he not genetically programmed to be incapable of taking care of himself?

Since Dr. Onyeani is our chief and one must not publicly allow himself the drunken courage to bethink our chief of as something less than majestic, I hasten, therefore, to point out that by Dr. Onyeani's accomplishments, we do KNOW the good doctor is not by any means lazy, stupid or undisciplined - even though this will be in direct contradiction to his own divine introspection on the Black race.

In the end, in my desperate effort to believe our Chief is not lazy, I dare disagree with Dr. Onyeani that his theory is unproven, unfounded, baseless, wild, unintellectual and, definitely, unscientific. However, if he must insist that our Chief who, by no accident of fate, is black is lazy, unproductive (let's not forget the books he has written) and an idiot, that is his cup of tea and we will let him scald his own negroid palate with the oft-heated but empty, provocative statements that he seeks to throw on everything and anyone black. There is an African saying that if the high priest predicts the destruction of his town, well, guess what, he lives in it too!