In a Lighter Mood: Alamaiesyeigha and the "Belle Full" Laughter

This whole thing sounds funny. As I think of Alamaiesyeigha I think of how funny this whole thing looks. But it was in the same vein that the crating of erstwhile Transport, Minister, Umaru Dikko in the Shagari regime in a diplomatic baggage also sounded funny. But the truth of the matter is that the reality is not all funny. But it is amazing, in this time of the war on terror, with the Brits and the Americans, in their sophistication having diminished the soul of the terrorists in Baghdad and elsewhere, that before their very sophistication Alamaiesyeigha can escape before their very eyes. I now understand how the Emir of Terrors continue to be elusive, though it was promised that he would be captured dead or alive. We are still waiting. He might even have sneaked in into London as a woman!

Anyway, as I think of the wonder of Alamaiesyeigha I think of how history repeat itself. This Ijaw Chief has fooled the Brits, the same ones that bombarded Akassa, and deceitfully captured King Jaja of Opobo sending him into exile for him merely to die in Tenerife, on his way out of their distressful terror chambers. Remember too, the great Nana Olomu another one from that region, except that he was an Itshekiri. Truly, Alamaiesyeigha disappeared mysteriously where the great ones before him couldn't. Jaja with all the charms that the Brits accused him could not induce his "disappearance" from the British Naval ship in which he was captured and subsequently exiled. But Alamaiesyeigha seems to be saying he is a modern day Peter who in the Acts of the Apostles through divine intervention buckled his way out of prison. Wonders shall never end. Alamaiesyeigha is truly a wonder worker not only in pocketing the money meant for the deprived and enormously victimized people of Bayelsa State, the ventricular source of Nigerian oil. These people have been greatly victimized by the exploiters in Shell, Exxon-Mobil, Chevron, and whatever name they bear, denigrated by their own Federal Government interested in only their oil money but never the land and people from whence it derives, but this time by their very kin, the mystical Alamaiesyeigha, and his cohorts. Surprisingly, Douglas Oronto, the haters of these vultures that have forever fed on the carcass of his people, is the gong that sounds the arrival of a thief.

Nigeria is a country where there is no conscience, where thieves roam as princes, and coronate themselves in a nostalgic orgy of crass madness. Nigeria is just a country whose soul has been hijacked by monstrous characters. It is the land where murderers, thieves, assassins, robbers, bandits, molesters, and tyrants terrorize the people into submission. Using manipulative means, especially ethnicity and religion, they have enjoyed debasing the people and coercing them to approve of their ethos. Censoring the people this way, however, unbeknown to them, they would be activating the hidden sensors of these people to resist and revolt. It is just a matter of time. It has not happened yet, does not mean it shall never happen. History also evolves and once it reach a limit the stimuli would ignite itself.

Nigerian leaders are conscienceless. Today, it is Alamaiesyeigha. But we know all along many others. Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida, is one of them. He has killed the joys of many, sent many to their early graves, and injected pain into the land but he walks harmlessly. Today, the people trumpets and chants his lauds because a deprived people gets meaning from such euphoric enchantment. But the same people would sometimes in the near future turn defiant and in their enormous disenchantment cause permanent regeneration within their social order, that would eliminate such euphoria, because they would have learnt its temporary nature does not afford permanent hope or privilege. Just recently, the Nigerian President, noted that Chief M. K.O. Abiola was denied the presidency due to "bad belle." Yesterday, he sang, "Abiola is not the messiah Nigeria needs." Simple hypocrisy and cheap politics, because he is summing up his energy to trump the constitution and run for a third term.

But the truth of the matter remains people would not be fooled forever. As the political leaders continue to live on lie, so they help others in society to perpetuate and lies, spurn speculations and spin rumors about their personalities and functioning. I realized this recently, when a friend, a person I considered as intelligent, called me from Nigeria. In our discussion, he alerted me to the following facts, whose veracity is questionable but which he held to be dogmatically truthful, anyway. Here is a recasting of the discussion, in somewhat verbatim form:

"Do you know that this OBJ sacrificed his wife for this third term agenda thing?"
I mustered in response, how can you say that. He was not the Doctors at the hospital in Spain.
"Haba," he retorted, " you God people sef [meaning Man of the Cloth], you no sabi sai dis man na Ogboni man, even him broda Olu Falae be talk am in 1999."
"No, I do not think I believe you." I replied. "The man claims to be a born-again Pastor, rather than having marabouts around Aso-Rock he has Chaplains. Even, Fr. Kukah is his friend."
"Well" he noted, "you can believe what you want. But this man is bad, he keeps fooling you people all the time. As for me he can never fool me again. A fool at forty is a fool forever, they say."

For lack of anything meaningful to say, I simply replied "Ok."
Though I thought I had dislodged my friend, he continued to my consternation.

"Remember, never in the history of Nigeria has there been so much bloodletting of innocent people. Sharia riots of all kinds. Plane crash with all dead. Oil pipe bursting and roasting people. Never, except for the civil war, which was understandable. This is OBJ giving blood to his fellow Ogboni to feast on."

True or not, the political actors allow people to feed on such imaginations. It is in this light that Alamaiesyeigha theatrical disappearance from the Empire upon which the sun would never dawn acquires some mythical meaning, though in reality, while the Egbesu was noted to be flying him like African witches do at night into Bayelsa, he truly in a laughable and disgusting way fed the global imagination with some laughter. The only thing- good or bad- that one can mention here is that unlike his forebears who died in exile, he refused to be buried alive in Oyigbo land. While one African attempted to be Jesus of Oyingbo sometimes ago, another prefered to become an " invisible but necessary evil making the Brits to blush and be blotched. Meanwhile, I am having a "belle full" laughter! I hope Alamaiesyeigha is near to buy me some champagne.